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Comment of the Fortnight
1 February 1998
The Clinton Scandal - Q & A

[The following are all my personal opinions, so don't blame anyone else for them.]

Q: Do you think Bill Clinton had a relationship of some sort with Monica Lewinsky?
A: No proof as yet. Men are all pigs, so the fact that one man has an affair would hardly qualify as a totally unexpected surprise.

Q: Is there a right-wing conspiracy to topple Clinton?
A: No, not a conspiracy, just a bunch of incredibly mean-spirited people who would like to see him gone.

Q: Don't you believe that a man who breaks his sacred marriage vows is unfit for public office?
A: President Eisenhower seems to have done an excellent job of serving his country as a general during World War II despite an extramarital affair. President Kennedy's resolution of the Cuban Missile Crisis was satisfactory despite the fact that he was also unfaithful. Talent for leadership, it would seem, is not necessarily correlated with political party or respect for marriage vows.

Q: Is the media to blame?
A: Sure, why not; there's plenty of blame to go around.

Q: Do you think the US will attack Iraq to divert attention from this scandal? (As in "Wag the Dog")
A: If the US does attack Iraq, it's because Saddam Hussein has become very dangerous and needs to be stopped. It would be in reaction to events which have been in motion literally for months -- far before this scandal became public. The only people who seriously think an attack on Iraq is a diversionary tactic are the whacked-out loonies on the fringes of every conspiracy theory known to humanity. Well, that's what the Trilateral Commission and the Masons told me.

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